How To Build A Life Of Meaning

I think there’s this myth that your dream job or partner or whatever just magically appears…or manifests…one day…when you're ready…if you've meditated really hard…or something.

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t!

Instead, it's a series of small, few-degree turns that bring us home.

So, how do we choose which turns to make?

Well, in computer science, the fastest way to find an item in a sorted list is a binary search.

And that’s exactly how we do this.

First, let’s talk about the sorting algorithm…

You might be familiar with Ikigai — the intersection of what you love, what you can earn money doing, what you're good at, what makes the world better.

Another framework I love is genius — divide up everything you do in a day, week, month, year, lifetime into four categories (I list some personal examples, below):

• Incompetent: no good at it, don't like it

• E.g.: getting an oil change on time, sitting still for long periods.

• Competent: fine at it, don't like it

• E.g.: sweeping weekly, filing taxes, billing.

• Excellent: great at it, get a lot of good boy or girl compliments…though playing it safe and don’t necessarily love it

• E.g.: product management, logistics.

• Genius: flow, time stops, love it…probably ever since you were a kid

• E.g.: synthesizing information, meditating, coaching, learning something new.

Now, let me take a stab at explaining this binary search business…

Imagine it’s 1990, and you’re looking for someone’s number in a phonebook, say Obama (you can see where my mind's at these days). Open the phonebook halfway, and maybe Manchin is the first name that appears. With the goal of finding Obama, we ask, does Obama come before or after Manchin. Since it's after, we throw away the first half of the phonebook and repeat the exercise with the remaining half, splitting it down the middle, until we find Obama. This process is incredibly efficient.

Have you connected the dots?

In building a life of meaning, you can think of every decision as a narrowing down of your options — which brings you closer to your genius, values, Ikigai? Just keep choosing that option! Multiple choices at once? Compare two at a time. Rinse and repeat.

It's the fastest way, validated by…math!

Q.E.D.

And this doesn’t just apply to the big choices in life. It’s the small ones, the ones we barely notice, that often matter most…

• What to do with five minutes between meetings: scroll social media or take a deep breath and meditate?

• What to prioritize tonight: Netflix or journaling?

• Which job to take: higher pay or higher percentage of my day in genius?

It’s that simple, and…not so easy. The challenge is, the option that brings you farther from your truth will often look REALLY appealing, especially in the short term. More money, more fame, more responsibilities, more perks, more glitter, more fun, more tasty, more whatever. It’s a trap! It takes a solid commitment to live in integrity. An earnest promise to yourself. A belief in yourself. A love for yourself.

• “I commit to spending 100% of my time in genius.”

• “I commit to pursuing Ikigai.”

This takes guts, and GREAT communication — with yourself, close family, friends, mentors, colleagues, bosses, supporters. It's going to involve saying ‘no’ to things and people that others will tell you you're crazy for, and if you're doing it right, you’ll probably question yourself, too. And that’s the point.

Like, when you’re in-between jobs, cash is tight, and you pick the lower-paying option that’s closer to Ikigai.

Remember, at the gym, when it hurts the most, it can pay the most.

You’re ready for this, right? It’s why you’re here, reading. If it were easy, everyone would do it.

I recommend writing out your values, and then sharing them with the people you love. So that when you're hesitating to accept the right job that maybe pays less…for the right reasons…they’ll cheer you on!

A life of meaning doesn’t appear overnight. You build it decision by decision, using a simple, elegant technique: binary search. Just keep choosing the path toward your genius, values, Ikigai. This is how you come home. And as you begin to come home, you’ll realize that as you walk the path home, you’re already home 🏡.